Build a Family Like You Build a Lego Castle
by drunk-terminator
Summary: A compilation of one-shots about on a honey, a darling, and a pair of troublesome kids.
1. don't name your kids after Lego men

finally did this one yay! after over three months of procrastination, tears an lack of motivation i finished it. happy birthday to my queen :)

* * *

><p>~xx~<p>

CHAPTER 1

**...but make sure not to name family members like you name Lego men**

your toys don't mind being called Dia and Block, but your children do!

~xx~

They say that great power comes with great responsibility. People are given the power to have a child, and for doing so they should be well aware about the moral obligation that comes with parenthood. It's assumed that every person who is willing to become a parent knows one of the most basic rules about having a child: give the kid a decent name.

During his nine years of existence, there wasn't a single day Block didn't wonder how things went so wrong for him. He tried to understand. He truly did. _That's a long story_, his parents used to say. He had all the time in the world to hear them out, but instead they just looked at each other and smiled, secretly enjoying an old memory. Oh, but they weren't the only ones hiding things from him. Big sis Kagura, Hinowa, Otae, Sacchan. The closest he got form an answer was when he asked uncle Katsura. He was about tell him, but he had to run to avoid arrest. And none of the Shinsengumi guys who arrived told him the truth. Once he was so desperate he tried asking Hasegawa.

"Do you think your name is bad?" he asked incredulous "I wish I had a bad name. Instead I have a bad life".

He never asked again. But whenever they crossed each other in the street Block heard the old man muttering a few lines like _it's all for the joke's sake. _Or even_ only if young people knew how cruel life can be in comedy mangas_. He avoided him since then.

The closest and most frequent target for questions was his sister. Poor Dia, heard almost every day his brother complaining and asking over and over again the same tiresome questions. After one particular bad day he decided to get back to the same issue they discussed over a million times already.

"Does your name bother you?"

Dia rolled her eyes, paying more attention to the ice cream she was having.

"Seriously?" she asked. "We discussed this topic last week".

"I think I'm gonna ask mom and dad about that" he said.

"Good for you" she enjoyed her ice cream for a while before talking again. She sounded indifferent, but inside she was crying of happiness and thinking _finally_. "I told you already, if you keep quiet they will keep doing bad things to you".

Easy for her to say. She never had the mocking problem at school. She always had a comeback ready, never seemed bothered. Their classmates tried to make fun of her for the first two weeks. After that short period they gave up, it was no use. Dia was the cool kid in the class, even having a cursed name.

But things were different with Block. Even if he developed the ability to come up with comebacks he would not be able to verbalize them. Dia confronted him once about that. _If you are so bothered you could at least ask someone to help you_, she said. But he had no desire to ask for help too. Not that he was proud - he wasn't. He considered talking to his parents more than once, but every time he got close to do it he gave up.

It was only a matter of time until the insults became so frequent he began believing his name were actually terrible - before joining school he was okay with it. But now he thought about that more often, and came to a conclusion that _Block_ made no sense at all. The only option he saw to minimize his problem was approach their parents about the issue, and pray for being a good reason behind his name.

~x~

The smell of his father's cooking soon filled his nose, making his stomach send him a reminder that he was hungry. He ignored the rush to join his family and have a nice lunch, he had an important task.

There were they, his parents. Tsukuyo standing close to the couch, in all her beautiful glory, wearing her typical black clothes with that usual discrete strawberry sell; Gintoki in the kitchen, finishing their meal. His stance was not as glorious as hers, but yeah, it was something. The best he could get of a lazy man with horrible hair who still wore his pajamas at that time of the day.

"Mom, mind if I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

His intentions were serious and he sought legit answers. Nothing more appropriate than approach his mom, who was naturally more serious, to clarify things for him. She paid attention to him before she started her meal.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked.

"This is important, so be sincere, please. Where-" he paused for a second - there was still a chance to give up. Being as afraid of the answer as he was, he had second thoughts. He captured his sister's eyes staring deeply at him, giving him an incentive. Swallowing and already regretting his persistence, he finished that sentence. "Where does our names come from?"

An awkward atmosphere rose around her. It felt like a dark aura emanated from her, gradually spreading across the room until reaching Block and giving him a shiver, as if he asked a forbidden question.

"That is a sensitive topic, son" Tsukuyo said. "It is… an incident you father and I were involved. You might want to take a seat before listening".

Block swallowed once again, doing as she said.

"There was this one time" she began, "when your dad and I had to-".

"Wait over there" Gintoki said, interrupting them.

Block cursed. He heard them. The last thing he wanted at the moment was his father being… his father. Unable to take something serious, always making jokes and references that, sometimes, no one at all understood.

"Don't tell me you are actually planning to tell him this way" he said. "We need a flashback, Tsukki. Flashbacks are always cooler. How disappointed people would be if they had to read your boring explanation?"

"I don't think you were supposed to say that" she said.

"I'm not supposed to do a lot of things, but breaking the fourth wall definitely is not one of them".

Without further discussion, he sat closer to them and begun his so called forth-wall-breaking flashback. He chose a specific moment that not related to the origin of the names at all, more like the day their names were sealed into fate.

~x~

_There were times they would feel so bored they would talk about their lives. What they had for breakfast, what they would do next Friday night, a funny childhood experience. Sometimes even about their future – you see, even them were mature if they tried. During one particular winter night, the weather was so cold they found themselves unable to sleep. They gathered a few blankets they had and spent the night drinking the tea Gintoki made for them. They talked about many things during the next hours, but one special subject was relevant._

"_If we ever have kids, how will we name them?" Tsukuyo asked._

_He was not expecting that. Not that he disliked the thought, no! It just… came out of nowhere. To be fair, he thought about that once or twice before._

"_After our fictional children, obviously" he said._

_After taking a few sips of her tea she finally understood his suggestion._

"_You mean Dia and Block?"_

"_What other fictional children do we have?"_

"_Gintoki, you can't name our kids like that, they will be bullied at school"._

"_Of course they won't!" he said with the most confident face a human being ever made. "My kids will totally be the cool kids."_

"_Well, you can always dream."_

_He couldn't believe her. The look on his face was from utter hurt, she insulted him on unspeakable levels. There were a lot of things he was ready to expect from her, but insulting his choice of names… unacceptable. From that moment on, things went downhill._

"_Let's make a bet, then" he said. "Twins, boy cursed with blonde natural perm, girl blessed with silver straight hair. If I'm right I choose their names"._

"_Listen to what you are saying" she said. "That is not how genetics works"._

"_Don't be naive, Tsukki, fiction doesn't take genetics that serious. There is this greater will we call fan service, which makes my hint not only possible, but obvious"._

_At the moment the idea seemed so ridiculous she accepted without second thoughts. She even dared to laugh, and later people laughed with her as she told them the story. A few years later everyone's jaw dropped when the kids were born. There was no need to introduce the newborns, both their names and appearance were already know by the time they saw the huge victorious grin on Gintoki's face._

~x~

Story told, it was not hard to imagine what was going on inside Block's head. Gintoki and Tsukuyo expected him to be angry, shout, tell them how stupid they were, run away from home and return only for dinner, still not talking to them. Instead he stared at their faces for a long time, long enough for them to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"That is all?" he asked. "Am I named after a bet?"

He heard enough. He had a reason to prefer talking to his mom instead of his dad, she was serious about his problems. And when he realized his biggest problem was because of a stupid suggestion his father gave… enough. He stood up and headed to the door. He wanted to be alone and think for a moment. Before leaving he turned back, staring at the closest person to the door. He said five simple words in soft voice, almost inaudible, loud enough only for only his father to hear:

"Dad...you are the worst".

And then he left, without further explanations. Not that he needed any. Tsukuyo soon stood up, following him. Dia went to her room, leaving a note on her father's lap. And Gintoki… well. That is not something you are supposed to hear from your own son.

After only a few minutes Tsukuyo found him sitting on the margin of the river, next to the wooden bridge.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked without ceremonies.

Block looked back, a bit surprised about his mom being there. She sat by his side and both of them watched the water flow, going back and forth, wetting the gravel a bit ahead of them.

"Why are you blaming only your dad?" she asked again, and would keep making question after question, until he talked back. Usually she was not bothered by his introvert ways, but sometimes she had to insist and make him open up.

"Because he was the one who suggested" he said, after a long time wondering if the subject was worth discussing "I can only talk to you, mom. He is _always _making fun, how can he help me if he ever says nothing serious?"

Tsukuyo smiled and messed Block's hair. That is, made a bit worse than its natural state. She had the opportunity to see Gintoki serious too many times, more than she would like. If Block had any idea of the relief she felt for living peacefully for entire nine years… well, he was not supposed to know, anyway. He had the right to ask, and she the obligation to answer.

"Block, we are not supposed to know everything" she said "you never told him you don't like that, did you? If you did I'm sure he would be serious with you. He can be like that".

Indeed, never once he complained about Gintoki's attitude. He usually said things were okay and no one would ask him any more questions. For the first few times they discovered him and made him talk, but soon he became a good actor and distinguish truth from lie became difficult. Block admitted he was to blame too. Yet, there was no plausible explanation for _Dia _and_ Block_.

"Let me tell you a secret" Tsukuyo said, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Every parent is selfish. And you know why? The moment our kids are born we name them with whatever name we think is nice. We don't even wait until they grow to ask them how they wish to be called".

"Well, he did a bit wrong, right?" he interrupted her "Block is not even cool".

"Stop saying _he_, it's _us_. I agreed with him" he looked away, refusing to believe she was also part of this. Ignoring his disbelieve, she kept talking. "As I was saying, we name them after whatever we want. But you know something, we don't just pick a random name." That made him curious. So she finished her statement with the exact words he was looking for all along. "We choose something meaningful to us".

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice trembling in hopeful excitement.

She smiled that gentle smile of hers and stood up. So that was the problem: with such uncommon name, he wanted it to at least mean something.

"We can tell you if you want to know. Not about the bet, but the story itself" she said. "But wait until your dad is with us. After all, he is pretty good with funny stories".

Block smiled. He had to agree with her in this one.

"Don't come home too late".

She headed to the bridge, straight back home. After all, there was another perm-head to talk to. But before being too far for Block to hear her, she asked something she had in mind for a while now.

"Are you sure there is nothing else bothering you?"

She understood _Block_ was not the best of the names. He also had reasons to be upset, but if there was one thing she was certain it was that Block was a calm kid and would never get to the point he did. Telling that to Gintoki, that is. Yes, she heard him. And supposed there was a really good reason for blaming only one person and more importantly – saying what he did. There must be something he was hiding, otherwise he had no reason to be so harsh.

"Yeah!" he answered a bit too slow, looking surprised at her "What else could be?"

And that was everything she needed to hear.

~x~

When you know someone for long enough, you don't need words anymore. Take them, for example. When she said she had another perm-head to talk she hasn't actually meant talk. She arrived home, told him "let's have some _dango_" and here they were. Enjoying their snacks, not talking at all. They were regular clients there. They made the best _dango, _and the convenience store by the corner made it easy to supply his strawberry milk needs. Tsukuyo knew all along about his passion for both foods, and as soon as she learned about this place she began taking him there whenever he felt down. She supposed this was one of those occasions.

"Look at this" Gintoki said, breaking the silence between them. He handed Tsukuyo a small note with her daughter handwriting "Dia gave me this after you left".

She took the paper, looking at what was written.

"_It is Kenji_" she read and Gintoki nodded. Since Block was not willing to tell them, Dia did. As she thought, there was something else. "Maybe someone from school".

He sighed, resting his empty _dango_ stick on the little plate by his side. He looked at no specific direction, displaying his usual dead fish eyes.

"What a fateful night, that one" he said "I guess their looks and you guess their future. Geez, I should have listened to you".

And just like that, he blamed himself once again. Tsukuyo considered telling him it was her fault too, telling him "I was the one who created the names". But she knew he would tell her "and I was the one who groped you" and then she would blush and get angry and an unending discussion would begin. They had that conversation already, and it hasn't ended well.

"Regret won't take us anywhere, we should help him" she assured him.

"Like looking for this Kenji guy?" he said "don't parents usually make things worse? I mean, won't this guy mock Block even more because we had to stand for him?"

Gintoki had no idea about what he should do next. This time there was no "the main character has powers to deduce his kids appearance so he has the power to deal with this situation in the right way" speech.

"Cool your head for now, will ya?" Tsukuyo said knowing he was too worried to think straight "Let's go for a walk, after we calm down we think about what we do next".

He took a last bite, leaving the second stick he ate during their little chat at the same plate he left the first one.

"Just let me get strawberry milk first" he said.

"Sure".

While Tsukuyo paid for their food he disappeared inside the closest convenient store. She kept the change and turned around, heading to the park. Only a few steps later her attention was already somewhere else. There was a group of at least five boys, around Dia and Block's age, walking in the opposite direction. While they crossed ways she heard a few sentences of their conversation.

"I'm telling you" the one who seemed the oldest said "you need to make them respect you".

She was ready to ignore their childish attempt to be respectable people, but -

"You just make them fear you. Like" if that wasn't pathetic enough the boy proceeded to give the others an example of his hostile behavior "there is this boy in my class, Block..."

That was enough to convince her to turn around and touch the boy's shoulder, not as gentle as an adult should if she had intention of respecting the little one.

"What were you talking just now?" she asked "something about Block, you know him?"

The boy and his friends looked bitterly at her, as she was not worthy talking to them.

"Yeah, I do. And who the hell are you?"

"Oh, that is not important. Can I ask you your name?"

The boy wondered if telling her was a good idea. She was one hell of a scary woman. If the look on her face weren't enough, she also used _kunai_ as hair accessories. Who does that? And he was not the smartest person, but he knew something for sure: her hair color was a rare sight around there, and he was sure he saw that same color before on Block's big stupid head.

"It's Ishida Kenji" he said, reluctant.

Tsukuyo thought for a moment before taking her next step. She found the boy sooner than she expected, what she would do next was still unsure. She had an idea in mind, and decided for that a little hesitant. Kenji obviously was not as brave as he told he was. After only a few moments with him she could tell that with ease. But there was still the chance of making everything worse.

"Block talked about you" she told him.

Kenji frowned his eyebrows, and soon he and his friends were laughing.

"Block?" He asked, daring to mock him in front of his mom "that guy is so stupid he had to talk about me with his mommy? How pathetic!"

She resisted the urge to slap the kid. Even knowing the thought was inappropriate, she couldn't help but imagine his reaction.

"Oh, but you are wrong because-" she stopped mid-sentence once she spotted Gintoki - finally - leaving the store "hey Gintoki, over here!"

He saw her and approached them with a confused look. _Why the hell is my wife surrounded of brats? _he thought.

"Oi, what is this?" he said. "This is really weird".

"These guys know Block from school" Tsukuyo said. "This one is Kenji, Block talked about him."

Gintoki understood the situation immediately. Tsukuyo looked at him in that way couples do, when they say something only by looking, so of course he understood. They had a few codes, you know. She looked at him tilting her head, with a trace of smile in her lips. She had intentions to go on with their plan and he was supposed to join her. All that "lets cool down our heads" talk was useless now, their encounter with Kenji happened too fast, he hadn't even time to think about what he should say. His only option was to improvise.

"Oh, that's right" he said, smiling to her. He turned to Kenji and kept talking "lucky you we still can control our kid. You know, he wanted to hit you a few times, just to check if you were still funny after he did".

That was the first thing that came to his mind and honestly – it couldn't be better. Maybe it could, but the point is that he just declared that Block was the one standing for himself, not relying on his parents. There was no reason to mock him even further and Gintoki believed that telling the bully Block was capable of using other ways to stop the mocking would give the boy something to think.

"The damage would be big if we didn't" Tsukuyo soon joined his lie.

Both of them positively shook their heads, approving their crazy and unrealistic story. Kenji didn't share their enthusiasm, though. Deep down he had this feeling he should fear the parents. But not the son, he was positive Block would never hit someone, so:

"You are lying" he said. "That guy wouldn't dare. Besides, I don't think he can beat me. To begin with, how would that guy learn how to fight?"

Not very smart, Gintoki realized. Apparently the _bokutou_ in his belt and the pair of _kunai_ on Tsukuyo's hair were merely fashion accessories. It was not as if his parents gave the impression they knew how to fight or something. They just had great fashion sense.

"Listen here, dude" Gintoki begun. "This lady over here, she can pierce your head with a kunai before you realize what is happening".

"And this guy is something too," Tsukuyo continued quickly, setting a mental note to thank her husband for the attempt of compliment latter "he is one hell of a big name here, one of the greatest swordsmen in Edo, if not the best. If that is not enough, his aunt is a Yato and his uncle runs a dojo".

"That is a lot of people to teach him how to fight, don't you think? And they are not even half" Gintoki was a bit angry at this point.

Needless to say, it was funny to watch the boy's sudden change of expression, from utter confidence to plain fear within seconds. What a triumphant feeling they were having.

"You better be grateful for him not being the dick you are and showing a bit of respect towards you. If you know what is good for you, consider apologizing to him".

Even scared, Kenji was not the kind of person that would allow others to tell him what to do. So young but already so rebel… Gintoki wondered how this kid would be in his teenager years and, for a moment, felt sorry for the trouble his parents would have to face

"Are you threatening me?" the boy said, taking a step closer to Gintoki, convinced his nine-year-old posture was enough to make the man scared. "My uncle is with the joui, he can deal with you all if he wants to".

If his stance weren't enough his uncle position would be, that is what he thought. Instead of surprised, Gintoki shook his head in disbelief, almost laughing.

"So that's it, then." he said "you are just a coward that relies on others when you can't deal with your shit alone ".

He leaned closer and proceeded to whisper a few things in the boy's ear. He smiled, enjoying his words as he spoke. As for Kenji, his eyes went wide and his hands began to betray his brave stance, slight shaking. Once Gintoki said all he wanted it was just a matter of seconds until the boy left, taking all his friends with him.

"What have you told him?" Tsukuyo asked, both curious and surprised. For all she knew he could have talked about his friendship with the Shinsengumi or even his old days being comrades with well-known rebel leaders. Or even the fact that he was kind of a legend during the war. Or knowing him, some gross thoughts that would leave any kid scared. Who knows.

He smiled at her, taking her hand, not really wanting to answer. He still were interested in that walk she talked about before. Tsukuyo kept looking at him even after they started walking. He liked to think she was just admiring his handsome face, but he knew she was waiting for an answer.

"Nothing serious" he said.

~x~

Still sitting by the side of the river, Block watched the sunset as he thought about his mother's words. He was happy about finding out his name had a meaning, and more importantly: he couldn't wait to hear what it was. But he still had a few problems unsolved. Like how he would deal with his classmates from now on, and what he should do about his father.

His fortunate decision to stay a few more minutes helped him solve the remaining mess. Because apparently school wasn't enough anymore, Kenji had to show up to mess with him even now. Block cursed his bad luck at first, but upon closer inspection, Kenji didn't seem ill-intentioned at all. He even dared to thought he was scared… what a crazy thought! Well, not so crazy as Kenji stepped closer, looking down. Even less crazy when he spoke, all insecure and visibly regretting his decision.

"Hey there, Block" he said. And of course, Block had to take a moment to assimilate that this calm and terrified kid was Kenji.

"What do you want?" he said in a way that sounded ruder then he intended. At that point, he swore Kenji was trying his hardest not to take a step back. And if you asked Block, that was weird. Completely weird, out of character and impossible. In two years he hasn't seen Kenji acting this way, and by no ways he understood why he seemed so vulnerable when talking to a guy he used to mock as routine.

"Look," Kenji began "I talked to you dad and he told me you wanted to beat me up and all, but you didn't because you respected me. So… I'm sorry?"

"My dad what?" was his automatic response.

Silence followed for an eternity. Silence would follow forever, because… what? Block saw so many mistakes in that sentence he had no idea where to begin with. That was so surreal he was convinced he was living a dream, he was sure this kind of think don't happen in real life. Kenji's words were really impressive but again… his dad what?

"Your dad and I kind of crossed ways in the street" he explained "and he knew who I was, you told him. And he said you wanted to teach me a lesson but you didn't because you respected me and all and… look, I'm sorry."

Surprised, he realized his dad just fixed his biggest problem. He thought about that for a really long time, leaving Kenji waiting. He wanted to ask more, know every single detail. Learn how scared Kenji was, how much he regretted, and the exact words that made him think that. Instead, he did what he thought was the best, which was offering his hand for a handshake. The other boy thought he would hit him, so he stepped away.

"I'm not hitting you, just want a handshake".

Reluctant, Kenji reached for Block's had.

"Does this mean we are friends now?"

"No," Block said without sympathy "I don't like you. We are making a deal. You and your friends don't bother me anymore and I don't do… whatever my dad told you I would".

Kenji shook his head, agreeing with everything. If Block told him to jump in the river he would, so scared he was.

"One last thing" Block said "if you want to be friends we can try, but next time you ask me not because you are afraid of me, but because you mean it".

And for the fist – and probably last – time in his life, Block saw Kenji without words.

~x~**  
><strong>

Later on the same day, when Block arrived home, everyone was a bit surprised when he ran straight to Gintoki and gave him a huge hug. It was a silent moment for everybody in the room, except the closest person to the kid. Because once again he whispered five simple words, once again in a way only Gintoki could hear. And this time said words were way better chosen than the last time.

"Dad, you are the best".

* * *

><p>done! hope you guys liked it.<p>

and now I have three last things to say:  
>1: this idea is not entirely mine, it's based on a thing algilar-knight posted on Tumblr a while ago<br>2: if you are wondering what's up with the title there is this toy called Diablock that is basically an alternative version of Lego  
>and 3: for now I'm leaving this story as complete. buuuut I like the Dia and Block idea a lot, so if I ever have another good idea I'll probably turn this into a series of one-shots.<p>

so yeah, that's it, thank you a lot for reading :)


	2. never build a time machine

not just a one shot, i couldn't resist the kids. this one is based on a prompt i saw months ago, check the ending notes for it.

btw i found out an interesting thing: i have a sensor inside me that only allows me to finish what i began writing when serious shit is happening. seriously. the first one was during the kurokono arc, the second one in the Asaemon one, the third one i waited until Tsukki's bday and this one i finished exactly one day before the spoilers of the first chapter of a serious arc came out. coincidence? i think not.

* * *

><p>~xx~<p>

CHAPTER 2

**... but _never _build a time machine**

if you do disaster is fated to happen

~xx~

"Oi, just what are you doing here?" He asks, slowing his pace so she could catch up with him.

"You forgot Kagura's umbrella," she says, "figured it wouldn't be a good idea to let her out tomorrow without it."

He nods, taking the accessory from her hand. They visited Yoshiwara this afternoon. Kagura dozed up and he ended up carrying her home, he haven't paid attention to the umbrella. Still, Tsukuyo comes all this way to bring it back. He thanks her.

"This is not the way to your place."

"Indeed." The frantic anxiety growing inside him got a little out of control when he had the opportunity to share his flawless and genial plan with a friend. He is not someone who'd jump around and giggle without control, but he allows himself a smile.

"I have better plans for tonight," he says, hoping to incite her curiosity at least a bit. "After I'm done we can go out and- no, we can't have a drink, forget what I said. We can do something, from now on money will no longer be a problem."

She sighs. He is an excited kid inside. She gets along, after all, she is already here and it's not like she will deny having a small chat - she enjoys talking to him more than she admits.

"And by that you mean…"

"I finally found a way to fix my poverty."

Knowing him, he was up to no good.

"Please don't tell me you found a secret virtue and now are secretly a host at night."

"Oi, was this supposed to be a joke? Was this supposed to be offensive? I don't think you are in position to say such things."

"You should have asked for help, we still need people in that gay club. I'm sure your income would be higher."

"Shut up," he says. "That would be unfair with the other boys, who'd want them once they can have the handsome Savior of Yoshiwara?"

"SO THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

They turn a corner, entering a less illuminated spot of the town. The laughs and loud voices from the main street are still audible, yet fading at every new step. Gintoki walks in a straight line, Tsukuyo following him into the unknown path.

"We are going to a friend's place," he tells her. "He is a mechanic, I asked him to build me something."

She nods. Soon she can smell old oil and hear the soft sound of an engine working.

"How exactly is this friend of yours related to your problem?" She asks.

"Well, I thought a lot about which method would be the best to earn some easy money, so I figured having the lottery numbers was my key to success."

"So this guy is making some sort of calculating device?"

He sighs in disapproval.

"How uncreative to think about something so obvious and boring."

He begins explaining his plan, still smiling and now talking a bit higher than he usually did. This moment is one of these which you can tell something big was about to happen. Either Gintoki would present her an excellent idea with an obvious good outcome or he'd have another good-for-nothing thought, causing their usual bit of trouble. Needless to say, the first option is very unlikely. So, when he reaches the last detail of his explanation, a bit of her already realized what he was up to, but her body refuses to react just yet. Probably preventing herself from sending him flying to the nearest trash bin.

"Basically, it's a time machine," he finishes.

And now she allows her denial to vanish, her pipe's smoke making her choke.

"JUST HOW ABSURD ARE YOUR IDEAS?"

~x~

Having a bit of common sense, she doubts him at first. And when she arrives and sees an old man working on a small circular device, no bigger than her hand, she is almost sure it won't work.

"Are you sure about this?" She whispers to Gintoki, watching her tone so that the other man won't hear her.

"Don't worry, the old man know what he is doing."

He indeed has some skills, she realizes as she watches the man. He handles small pieces with ease, fitting them precisely where they belong.

"Are you two planning to go together? I can guarantee you'll be back with every organ a human being needs to function, but I am not responsible if they are not originally yours."

At this Tsukuyo takes a step closer to the door behind her, casually lighting her _kiseru_ and pretending to be there just to prevent the smoke from bothering the other men. She hopes neither of them noticed that the thought shared is a bit scary and she is totally not willing to have her body mixed with anyone's else.

"This won't be necessary," she says. "I'm not interested in this mess. Besides, I just came here to bring the umbrella and leave"

Gintoki smiles, he knows better.

"What is it, are you trying to sneak away?" He proceeds to cross his arms and shake his head in disapproval. "Can kill a man in the blink of an eye, yet is scared of a tiny machine."

She blinks. Multiple times. He is still alive, why is that?

"I'm not scared of any machine. I'm scared of having that mop you call hair in my head."

His smile fades a little. His hair is a sensitive spot and she knows that.

"Please let my hair out of this. You should feel sorry for me and my future kids."

She rolls her eyes, still not moving. She is not leaving that place. She is also not leaving this time. The only thing she is leaving is Gintoki, she is leaving him behind. Let the man do whatever he likes with his life, just don't drag her into his mess.

"Come on, Tsukki, it's just a week." And here he smiles, remembering that one thing Seita accidentally told him that he _has _to let her know he knows. "Besides, Seita told me about what you have been reading, I think it would be interesting to know what happens in the next issue before everyone else."

She lets out a nervous laugh, the only thing that slips from her perfectly crafted normal reaction.

"I have no idea what this boy has been telling you, but I guarantee it's all nonsense."

She believes she was convincing everybody she was serious, but Gintoki finds it ridiculous how she keeps the same stoic face even after cracking up her voice as obviously as when she said her last statement.

"Are you sure? I remember he talking a lot about it, that you were _dying _to know if the girl would finally confess her love to her senpai, which, by the way, is her childhood friend whom she always loved. The school festival is the perfect time for that, don't you think? How romantic!"

The irony in his voice annoys her. She doesn't read anything _this_ cliché and has no desire to hear usual Gintoki bullshit.

"E-Enough!" She says. "If you want me to come with you so bad just ask, you don't need all these embarrassing lies."

She hears Gengai saying "just admit already, lady", more to himself than to anyone else, and she does not let that pass without a reprehensible look at the man.

"Shoujo mangas involved or not, I'm done here." He hands Gintoki the device, now ready to work. "You just set the date here and press the button. It's not a perfect machine, these beauties are a bit imprecise. So be ready to face a little divergence in time, though I would say it's nothing more than a year."

"I'll just pretend you haven't said this thing can take us to a completely different time," Gintoki says, than sighs. "Geez, I must be crazy or something to still want to use this."

"Uh… I think it's just that you are really poor."

"Shut up, Tsukki."

Sighing and already regretting - she must be really stupid to accept this - she touches the machine and Gintoki presses the button, sending them to whatever kind of place the future is.

~x~

First there is a flash. So bright and intense she sees only white for seconds. And then an intense feeling in her stomach comes, not like the one she felt when she was next to Gintoki, something more painful and unpleasant. Almost the same sharp pain she felt that one time she laughed hard while recovering from a serious injury in her belly. The heavy light slowly fades, and as her eyes adapt to the sudden lack of light she realizes she was in the same room as before, just a bit more dusty and smelly.

Gintoki is a mess of old boxes and limbs, coughing and tossing the boxes away. He touches his body and sighs in relief as he realizes all his members are still his.

"I'm a bit perplexed this thing actually worked."

She nods. He sits next to her and none of them motion to move from their spots for a long time. They wait together, hearing people outside, seeing the sunset-colored rays coming from the old abandoned windows. It's weird to know the world kept moving during an entire week and they weren't part of it.

Gintoki is the first one to stand up. Gently pushing her leg with his boot, he signs with his head towards the entrance of the shop.

"Better get these numbers and go back as quick as possible," he says. "It's a bit uncomfortable, the future."

It takes her just a few steps outside to realize. Tsukuyo hangs out around Kabukicho enough to know it's not possible for the city to have changed so much in just a year, much less a week.

"Maybe this is the year Takasugi finally decides to burn down the world," Gintoki says, also noticing the subtle changes. "At least we know we rebuild everything."

It's more a joke than anything else, but a slight concern burns in the corner of their minds. The town changed so much that they actually had no idea where they should look for. Looking at some stores on their own and getting out of trouble is the safest choice, both of them know. They look at each other searching for a quiet confirmation. In unison, they nod.

They head to complete different directions, with completely different objectives in mind.

"Oi, this is very anticlimactic, this is not what we should be doing!" Gintoki almost screams, making a few people look at him.

"If we part ways we will find the numbers in less time."

"And you'll be lost! We'll find the numbers, but you'll be lost! You can't get lost in the future, oi!" And watching closely, one could tell what are her intentions. "YOU JUST WANT TO READ THAT MANGA, DON'T YOU?"

"Bullshit," she says, disappearing inside a store suspiciously specialized in that kind of thing.

Gintoki face palms because really, he is so done with her. Never would have him imagined she could so deliberately ignore prudence. It is his fault, after all. His fault for showing up in Yoshiwara with his Jump over and over, until she would finally ask him "what are you reading?" And he would smile and give her a few comics he purposely had with him, that he was sure she would like. She took a few magazines he gave her, but never would he expect she actually got into it. That one time they taught Seita history should have been enough clue. But no. Now, of all time, is when he learns that. In the future. When he has no idea of the consequences they'll cause. When he is desperate for lottery numbers and can't read them with her.

"Maybe when we are back," he says, more to himself than anyone else, and chose a random store.

Ignoring a shelf of tasty-looking strawberry milk, he finds himself heading to the balcony of the store, hoping to ask the lady working there for the numbers. Soon he stops on his tracks for a while, focusing on the scene he has before his eyes. He never was in that store before, so he is not used to his surroundings. But he is sure a certain… _peculiarity_ is not supposed to be there. Looking at the back shelves, there is a young kid, no older than five. The boy examines a copy of Jump, and the great taste for magazines is not the only thing he has in common with Gintoki.

Standing there the boy scratches his blond hair, in all his natural perm glory. _Gintoki's natural perm glory._

He doesn't react at all. He closed his eyes, nod and smile a nervous smile. _What a funny coincidence, _he thinks to himself while swallowing hard. This is not a reaction, let it be clear, right now he is completely stoic. He resumes his search once again, focusing on the lady and completely ignoring the boy. They say people look at you if look at them, and that is not something he wants right now. Just for safety measures, of course. The kid is merely a coincidence, that is all. Probably just another perm buddy lost in the world.

The control he has over himself vanishes all at once when the kid turns to Gintoki's side and smiles.

"Dad!" He says in awe. "I finally found you!"

_No. Way._

It is the weather, he decides. The weather is the one to blame for his sweaty face. And the boy, too. The boy is an illusion caused by the heat. Yeah, that is a perfect explanation.

"I knew you would be around, but I would never guess I'd find you so quickly."

What an annoying illusion. _This kid can't be talking to me, _he reassures himself_. _Gintoki turns around. He and the boy are alone in the store. Their eyes meet. The smile is still there.

"W-W-What a coincidence, then, huh?" Gintoki says gesticulating a bit too much with his hands. "Hahaha, what a smart kid you are, hahaha!"

"Laughing this way you sound like uncle Sakamoto. How lame, dad."

_HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT THAT? _Gintoki swallows hard. Searching the depths of his mind, he tries to remember what he did so many years ago. He is almost sure it was nothing. Or maybe he was so drunk he couldn't remember. Oh, the guilt he feels now looking at the boy. He hasn't even considered a possible second prank. One thing was making him believe he got laid with all his friends in the same night, but a son... that is plain cruelty, even for that bunch of sadistic people he knows. Besides, the boy's hair is legit, nothing can perfectly pass as his hair, it's a natural curse that can't be reproduced artificially.

"So," Gintoki says, "what do we do now?"

"We look out for mom. She said she would be coming too."

_Oh my god the kid is with his mom._

He wants to run back to Gengai's shop and disappear. Leave the problem to his future self. But this is not something he will simply ignore and get away from, he has to find the proclaimed mother of the child and find out what happened. Maybe Gengai was wrong and he was actually six years in the future. He can't run away from his past, but from his future he surely can.

"Okay, what does she look like?"

It is a simple question, he is sure the kid is capable of giving a decent description, yet he says nothing and looks perplexed at Gintoki - maybe even hurt.

"What?" The boy says.

"Look, I seriously have no idea who she is, I'm sorry. But hey, just help me out, okay? Tell me her appearance, what she is wearing. Anything will do."

"Dad, are you drunk?"

_I kinda wish I was _is what he thinks, but instead he says "no."

"Well, she is really beautiful," the boy says reluctant, still not quite believing his own dad was asking that kind of question "and you two are married, you shouldn't forget about your family like this."

Really, he must have been really drunk. He is pretty sure he never married anyone. It's time to embrace his six years theory.

"She has blonde hair, almost the same height as you. Oh, and she has a scar over here too and-"

"Sorry, can you repeat that?" Gintoki interrupts the kid. He has his usual dead fish eyes outside, but inside his head is a mess, thinking thousands of different things at once, yet none of them fully realizing what he had just heard.

"...she has a scar over here? What is so surprising about that?"

Perhaps his heart stopped for a while, for feeling so suffocated cannot be explained by anything else. It hits him, it hits him harder than all the kunai hits he had taken before. Forget about the kid, the real problem was the mom. He can't deal with that.

He has to lean in the wall and rub his forehead with his fingers, closing his eyes to focus on the shocking truth he just faced.

"Get me a newspaper, will ya?" He asks the kid. Not really understanding what was going on, he does not take long to hand him the paper. Once he reads the date he can't do so much besides laughing. "A decade. Seriously, a decade. Is this old man for real? How can ten years be an acceptable margin of error?"

"Excuse me dad, but what are you talking about?"

Gintoki looks at the kid and sees the confusion in his eyes. The moment he comes back to his present time, he will buy a lot of calendars and spread them all over his place. He will circle this day and write the year and make sure his future child will stay home the entire day. He has just traumatized his son for all eternity.

"I'm telling you something, but promise you will keep this between the two of us."

In the end, he is willing to risk sounding like a madman rather than leaving the boy in confusion.

~x~

As soon as she requests for this week's volume of her manga, she realizes something is out of place.

"I'm sorry lady, but this is not published anymore for a long time now." The guy in the shop can't help but smile at his unusual customer.

She finds a way to work around the situation.

"Sorry about my mistake," she says, "it's for my daughter, I am not very fond of these things."

The man lets out a friendly laugh.

"No problem, miss," he says. "But we do sell it here, just ask her what volumes she wants and come back later."

She thanks him and leaves the store. She hopes Gintoki is still in the same place, but he is nowhere to be seen. She regrets her impulsive behavior now. No manga for her, and trouble for both of them. Wasting no time, she buys the first newspaper she can find.

She is rather surprised once she reads the date. A decade. Gintoki's messy business crossed the line in unimaginable levels this time. She feels like hitting him a hundred times for his stupidity, yet cannot deny she is a bit curious about her life ten years in the future. While she reads a few lines, she thinks about possibilities. How Yoshiwara is now, the new people she probably met…

"Hey mom," a little girl interrupts her thoughts. "Can you buy this lollipop for me? Dad ate all the candies alone… again."

At first, Tsukuyo thinks the girl mistook her for someone else. She looks down to tell the kid that, and at that moment she freezes. She looks at the girl and the girl looks at her, and the paralysis between them would never end if the child had not insisted in the candies. Tsukuyo tries her best to keep her voice under control, smiles and give the little girl a bit of money, telling her to buy all the sweet she wants. She is impressed by her self-control – which, as she observed her life until now, it's not that impressive when it comes to _this._

Her senses come back the moment the girl steps out of the shop. She becomes so flustered her face might be on fire. She wishes she could begin the day again and tell Gintoki she was busy when he called her this morning. Or remind him of the umbrella. Or just vanish from existence. There are certain things a person should not know, and this is definitely one of them.

First of all, she is ten years in the future. With Gintoki. All sorts of wild absurds are supposed to happen. And she sees a girl with eyes strangely similar to hers. Probably the most suspicious fact about this twisted situation is that the first thing the kid told her was to buy her candies, since her dad apparently ate them all alone. If the ten years gap, the eyes, _and_ the sugar-eating dad are not enough clues for her shocked self, the little girl's hair is: as she runs, her silver locks wave wildly in the air. And with the urge to smile suppressing her panicked self, Tsukuyo realizes it is as straight as hair can be.

~x~

The shocked kid stares at the wall of the alley they just made a place to sit down and talk, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

"I'm just believing what you told me," said Block - Gintoki learned with a giggle that he actually named his son with such a name, "because I don't think you would forget about us. And because mom told me you were really poor and desperate when she met you."

Gintoki's gratitude lasted two seconds. That's how much time the boy took between his last two statements.

"Ignoring how you just insulted your future dad," he says, "how is it in the future for us? I must be an insane failure as a father, letting my five-year-old kid go shopping for candies at sunset."

Block smiles, leaning his head on the cold wall besides him. Looking at the man who is supposed to be his dad and telling him their history is plain awkward.

"You told us you'd be coming later. I thought it was already you. Anyway, if you are expecting to have a perfect family I am sorry to say that we are going to disappoint you." He waits for a reaction. None comes. "We yell all the time, annoy each other, you and Dia are fighting all the time for candies, mom is so done with random strawberry milk taste in her food - which by the way is awful, don't do that in the future - and there is not a single time we sit down to have a meal that you don't steal my meat. I still have no idea what is your point, to be honest."

Gintoki lets out a nervous laugh, running his hand through his messy hair. He watches a couple looking at the alley and taking a step away from them, as if a pair of permy-heads sitting on an empty road could represent any harm.

"But it's fine," Block says, knowing too well what his dad was doing. The man before him is not exactly the same as he knew, but some things never change. "It's fine the way it is"

"We go out together all the time. We yell at each other, but a few days later we remember and we laugh because really, it was for a very stupid reason. I love to hear us laughing. When mom and I get tired of you and Dia we plot against you, we hide all the candies for ourselves and we watch as you two blame each other."

Gintoki looks at the kid, and the way he tries to hide his smile reminds Block of a kid trying to pretend he is not happy after receiving a gift.

"And about… you know." It's a bit hard to tell the next words. He looks away, finding a crack in the wall way more interesting than eye contact with his future son. "Your mother and I."

Block smiles too.

"Dia and I watch you two, you know," he says. "Sometimes you are worried or hurt or just feeling down, and I hear her talking to you. Or sometimes you understand each other without even talking, I think you have a secret language or something. My point is that you are always there for each other. I don't know a lot about these things, but i guess it's good?"

Gintoki's eyes never leave the wall. It's not hard to imagine what the kid told him. God, he would be lying if he said he never thought of that before. He has problems admitting to himself, but every now and then he thinks. And he catches himself smiling at nothing. The smile goes away as suddenly as it comes, he doesn't belong in there and doesn't dwell on that that often for this very specific reason. He is not smiling right now, what makes Block, in his naive childish mind, believe he said something unpleasant. He tries to fix it.

"But truth be told, I think you like her so much because she is the only person in the world who likes your stupid hair."

Gintoki wears a weaker smile than before and rolls his eyes, messing his son's hair.

"What are you talking about, kid, look at your own head." After many begs Gintoki stops, observing again the movement in the main street. He wish he could stay longer, hear the kid talking more. But Gengai was very strict about the damage they could cause if their stay is prolonged. "Guess it's time for me to go back now."

"But already going? I have other things to say."

Gintoki stands up, taking a good last look on Block.

"Apparently time travel is a complicated thing. I was not supposed to here in the first place, so staying longer can cause you trouble," he says. "Thanks for all you told me, but I don't want to spoil more of my life."

He smiles to the kid and goes back once again to the crowded main street. But footsteps follows him and soon he feels a small hand grabbing his wrist.

"Dad," says Block is low voice.

"What is it?" Gintoki turns his head just a bit, enough to see the boy facing the street.

"Promise me something."

He wants to keep walking and forget. He wants to say nothing and feel nothing and do nothing. He wants to run away and hide. Live his life and hope to have this kid in the future. Now he is free, and his mind wants to keep it this way. But his body is not listening, he signals with his head, allowing the boy to continue. And in this moment he is a bird trapped in a cage.

"Please don't let me disappear," he says.

He is tied by unbreakable ropes. He can't let it go - and doesn't want to.

"I won't."

At that, Block drops his hand by his side again, smiling.

"Great. See you five years in the future, then."

The kid runs towards the store they first encountered each other, back to his own business. Gintoki watches him, letting the smallest of the smiles take place in his face. He sighs, heading his own way and wondering if there is something he can do next besides hopelessly trusting time.

~x~

"Oi. Finally found you," is what she hears on a very familiar tone.

Tsukuyo almost jumps at the sound of his voice. She looks perplexed at Gintoki, as if he is not supposed to be here. She scam the street looking for the little kid, and thankfully she is nowhere to be seen.

"I already know about your girly manga, you know," he says "No need to be so surprised."

Yes, girly manga. That's her problem. She is not even in the comic book store anymore, and he needs to mention that. This man is beyond stupid, and enjoying every bit of it is her guilty pleasure.

"Found the numbers already?" She asks.

Dead-fish eyes and violet ones met. Both think the same, but neither speak of it. It's better this way, this is a secret they can't share.

"Nah, Gengai brought us to the wrong time. No lottery numbers for me this time."

"We can try again if you want to."

"Let's just get back home."

She doesn't question him. Something must have happened, and it's not her place to ask for more. The walk to Gengai's place is silent and uncomfortable. She hopes this doesn't last too long.

~x~

In a flash of white, just as before, they are back. This time they find themselves sitting next to each other, no dusty boxes at all. Tsukuyo is the first to stand up and move on. He doesn't look to see whether she has already left. He keeps his head down, gently running his finger over the tiny sphere still in his hands.

"Do you think the future will change because of today?" He asks, not really minding if he was talking to no one.

She wonders, just for a fraction of second, so small she almost doesn't realize it herself, if he knows. She tosses the thought away.

"Who knows," is what she says. Fighting the urge to look back, she waves a goodbye and leave. She takes a step away, and another, and another, until she is sure the only one to testimony her presence is a cat hopelessly looking for food in a trash can. She opens her mouth and wonders for a while before actually talking. In a sight she smiles, confessing to the feline what she swore to never spoke aloud. "I don't want it to change."

~x~

Alone, in the dark, his mind betrays him. He plays with the machine in his hand and laughs at the idea that he can make up for all his broken promises and naive hopes of salvation - reversing the failure they all were - just by pressing a few buttons here and there.

He throws the device to the depths of Gengai's mess, hoping to never see it again. He thinks about everything and nothing at the same time. _Do you think the future will change? Please don't let me disappear. _This all come and go through his mind subconsciously, and he finds himself burying his face on his hands, trying to ease the beginning of a headache. He laughs, a pinch of desperation in his tone.

"I don't want it to change."

* * *

><p>unexpected ending dum dum dum~ i blame insomnia and sad music for my sudden not okay feelings<p>

lastly, the prompt: _Imagine that your OTP uses a time machine to go to the future, and they meet a kid that immediately recognizes them as their parents. Cue the awkwardness._


End file.
